On Pins and Needles

So my son has a small (insert sarcasm) phobia of needles. Can't say I blame the kid. In his short life span he has had more needle pricks, more shots, more IVs that most adults walking around these days. And each one of these pricks has come with a relative stranger holding him down too. No wonder he is needle shy.

While I don't blame him for his phobia, it does make vaccination day, well shall we say, interesting. I have been dreading this day since BGA sent us the friendly reminder a month ago that Greyson needed to have his 5 year vaccinations before starting school. With school starting in less than 3 weeks I couldn't put it off any longer - today was the day.

I picked them up and tried to be as upbeat as possible. I told them we were going for a special surprise...ice cream!! Yippee were they happy. There are only two ice cream shops we frequent around school - the first being right next to Susan Gray and the second being next to the pediatrician's (side note the perfect business plan is to open a ice cream shop next to a pediatrician's office - about 3/4 of the kids getting shots were getting ice cream when we got there). Greyson seemed a bit confused when we drove by the ice cream next to school.

"Mommy why didn't we stop for ice cream?"

"We are going to go to the one next to Dr. Ladd's office today, honey."

"Oh........we aren't going to get shots are we?"

Hmmmm - Mother crisis here. Do I lie and tell him no to stop the pre-shot hysteria as much as possible or tell him the truth like a good person should? I sort of compromised.

"Well, we have to stop and get a piece of paper from Dr. Ladd's office to give to BGA that says you are healthy enough to go to school (truth). The nurse is going to look over the paper and make sure everything is ready for you to go to school (truth)."

"But, no shots???"

"Well, we will see. I don't know what the nurse will say." (big fat lie, yes but it leaves the door open and technically I didn't know what the nurse would say, right?)

Now in all this there is another little voice in the back talking to. Quinn also had to get some shots and was saying over and over...."But I don't want to get any shots."

I managed to keep the hysteria in check until they called our name and took us back. In that fake mommy voice we all use to let other adults know we are acting I kindly informed the nurse to look over Greyson's records to make sure everything was ready for Kindergarten. With that she left and all was quiet until she came back with the dreaded silver tray filled with needles. Then it was all over.

We tried to get it over as quickly as possible. I hoisted Greyson up and with the dexterity of someone who has done this a million times the nurse quite efficiently poked him 4 times. All the time my son HYSTERICALLY screaming and telling her "NO, YOU KEEP THAT AWAY FROM ME!!!" and "IS IT A SOFT NEEDLE?? I WANT A SOFT NEEDLE."

Once Greyson was done we put him down and I picked Quinn up who wasn't as upset but wasn't the happiest camper in the world. That is when it happened - the big protective brother came out and Greyson PHYSICALLY TACKLED the nurse all the while screaming. "DON'T TOUCH MY SISTER. SHE ISN'T GOING TO KINDERGARTEN SHE DOESN'T NEED SHOTS." Both the nurse and I just stood there with these dumbfounded looks on our faces. I tried to explain to Greyson that Quinn needed shots to go to Susan Gray but Greyson wouldn't let the nurse near Quinn. We actually had to get a second nurse to restrain Greyson so we could give Quinn her shots.

When I walked out of the exam room, having lost a couple years and slightly deaf from the screaming, all eyes were on me. The receptionist kindly let me know that my kids won the loudest screamers of the day. The cherry on the top was when the poor nurse went out to call back another unfortunate child, Greyson, who was still crying, yelled at her and told her she was mean.

Thankfully the enticement of ice cream finally got them to settle down and by the time we got into the elevator all was as calm as can be with two preschoolers running about.

Already looking forward to flu vaccines......

The amusing side note in all of this was as we were having ice cream Quinn told me that her band-aids had skeleton heads on them. I thought that that was pretty odd for a doctor's office and looked and laughed aloud when I saw little Tweety Birds staring back at me. Ahhh, the pitfalls when you don't let your kids watch TV and learn all the cartoon characters.