A Story.....

To make everyone feel better about themselves (ie whatever you do as least you aren't as much of a dumbass as me).

When we moved into this house a little over 2 1/2 years ago it was right about that time that Greyson was showing interest in getting into drawers. A brand new house equals brand new cabinets that we didn't want to screw anything into and Raif didn't like the look of plastic cabinet locks on the outside of the drawers. After looking around we found these handy little magnetic locks that were glued into the inside of the drawer. To open them you put a magnet on the outside of the drawer/cabinet which released the door and voila it magically opened.

Now of course the downside to this handy invisible system is that I would occasionally (alright all the time) misplace the stupid little magnetic key. It was suppose to be put back on the fridge when not in use but when you have two screaming kids and dinner on the stove sometimes it just gets left on the counter or somewhere else.

So there I was recently making dinner and needed to get into the drawer - no key on the fridge. I looked in all the usual places I leave it - no key. I retraced my steps in the kitchen looking everywhere - no key. At this point I am in the middle of dinner and have no ability to open ANY of my cabinets - can't get out spoons or pots or pans. I try a fridge magnet but it isn't strong enough to open the drawers.

Thankfully I had been to the Parent-Teacher store earlier in the week and had happened to see this little science magnets by the checkout and thought those would be fun for the kids to do little science experiments with so I picked two up. Even more thankfully they were strong enough magnets to open the doors so I finally got drawers opened and dinner was saved.

Raif came home to me in a FOUL mood. He too looked everywhere - no key. Literally we tore this house apart but it was nowhere to be found but I had to get dinner on the table so we were going to search for it after dinner. And then I found it - attached to the baking dish that had been sitting in the oven for the last hour cooking sweet potatoes. The nice plastic grip had pretty much melted and in case you didn't know magnets lose their magnetic powers when cooked at 375 for an hour.

Now I am sure you are thinking - I am surprised that that set didn't come with a spare key. Oh but it did - that one three months ago got somehow attached to my pot when I boiled pasta and too melted away.

Only I can manage to melt 2 magnetic keys while cooking in 3 months. See don't you feel better about yourself already??

Anyone Know a Good Exterminator?

It is summertime and the bugs are everywhere - both inside and out. Both kids have been into bugs lately and so we have spent the last week or so making some at home.


As you can see we have a wide variety in all shapes and colors crawling and creeping through our house.

While I don't normally go for the mass-produced name brand art products (shocker I know) I have found that I really like Crayola's Model Magic. We did the snails in regular clay but the kids had a hard time manipulating it (especially Quinn) because it was so thick. The Model Magic is a bit softer and more pliable and easier for the little hands to use.

I do hope they lose the bug phase soon - those eyes follow me everywhere!

Rhyme Time

We have been playing a lot of word games in the car since I banned the radio awhile back. As of late we have been playing the rhyme game. The kids or I find something outside and then we try to think of a word that rhymes with it. Sometimes we rhyme real words - (Van, Fan) and sometimes they rhyme with a nonsensical word (road, boad) and sometimes.....

Me: Hey guys I see a truck. What rhymes with truck?
G: Buck
Q: Fuck, suck

Happy Anniversary!

Fifty two years ago today, in what my parents will tell you was the hottest day in Kansas' history, my parents tied the knot in a little un-airconditioned church in Cawker City, Kansas.

Fifty two years - amazing. They have been through a lot in those years including having to raise me. Today they are enjoying their anniversary on an Alaskan cruise, seeing glaciers, sea lions and killer whales. I only hope after fifty two years of being with me Raif still wants to take me on vacation!

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad. We love you!!

Not Quite the Louvre

There was a reason I became an accountant. There isn't a single ounce of creativity that courses through these veins. I have the hand writing of a serial killer and each time my children ask me to draw an animal they all turn out the same; like a dinosaur of sorts. Raif's family however has several accomplished artists in the family - some hanging in some pretty prestigious galleries in Europe. And while Raif isn't making a living on his drawings at least when he is done you know what it is so he has a big leg up on me.

I am ever hopeful that my children at least got some artistic ability from his side of the family and to help coax it out of them and inspire them we have a new wall in our house...


I also have a wire hanger in the playroom to display their artwork but I didn't have anything downstairs and nothing fancy like a frame to display the best work. We unveiled the frames last night to much excitement (though if I had to do it over again I might have left off the possessives because they keep asking me why I misspelled their names (sigh)). After school today we are going to draw our first pictures to go in them. Hopefully this will lead to a lot of creativity and pride in their work and I am sure soon enough they will be drawing better than their Mommy.

Quinn or the Monster???

We have this entity in the house known as the wash monster (who looks eerily like my husband). The lights in the bathroom go out and when they come on again there he is with his growly voice and bathes the children to their delight.

At dinner we sometimes talk about him and his appending arrival, tonight however the conversation took a slight turn.

Me: Hey guys, when I was making dinner tonight I heard a strange noise coming from upstairs. It was a rumbling noise....
G: Oh Mommy, that was Quinn going poop.

Definition of a Lazy Sunday....

Warm Day, cool breeze, newly installed hammock. What more could you want??

It's a Boy Thing....

Quinn loves ballet (I think probably because a lot of the stuff is pink). She loves looking at pictures of dancers and reading her ballet books and twirling around the room like a ballerina. Because she loves ballet so much I have decided this Christmas to take her to the Nutcracker. I decided to gauge Greyson's interest in accompanying us last night at dinner.

Me: Greyson, I am going to take Quinn to the ballet in December. Do you want to come?
G: No thank you.
Me: Oh, why not?
G: Because Daddy and I are going to bat lessons.
Me: Bat lessons?
G: (exasperated) Yes, Mommy bat lessons.
Me: What do you do at bat lessons?
G: (even more exasperated) You wear black shoes.
Me: Is that all.
G: No, Mommy. You were black shoes and run around like bats.
Me: Well that sounds like fun. Can I come?
G: (laughs hysterically) No Mommy it is just for boys. Silly Mommy.

I wonder if Raif knows where he is going.....

The Mother of all Projects

When Raif and I moved into this house a little under three years ago I had (in theory) a great unpacking strategy. I put all of our boxes in the basement and then brought them up one at a time to unpack. This was great in keeping the little people out of the boxes and keeping a relatively clean house and since I didn't have a lot of time each day to unpack it kept me from getting stressed.

Well after I unpacked all the essentials I sort of lost the motivation to get anymore done. The boxes were down in the basement, out of sight, and well just really easy to forget about. And so they sat. What's more, since the basement was already a complete disaster area it was really easy to just keep adding to the mess and so crap has been piling up and piling up and well, now it is almost impossible to walk through our basement.

So today I have started the great basement clean-out of 2009. I am determined to get that basement looking at least somewhat respectable. It is going to take awhile because a) it is a complete mess b) I am determined to find a place for everything down there or get rid of it. Goodwill and I are going to become friends. E-Bay/Craigslist and I are going to become friends and I may have to buy the trashman a Christmas gift this year for all the work he is going to do.

To keep myself honest and movitated I am going to post some pictures of what it looks like now and then post in a month to show my progress. If you see anything in there you want, let me know!!

Karma

We have an unwritten rule in our house. Raif and I have refused to respond to questions not asked with manners. For example - "I want a cookie" is met with a blank stare and no response until "May I have a cookie, please." comes out of a mouth. This has worked fairly well and the kids have done a lot better recently on their manners.

This evening, at dinner, I told Greyson "Finish your milk." I was met with a blank stare. "Greyson, I asked you to finish your milk." He didn't flinch. Finally, getting annoyed I said sternly "I am not going to ask you again - finish your milk."

"Mommy, I am not going to do it until you say please."

Lesson learned.

What Not To Wear

I have pleaded, bribed, corrected, praised and done everything I can think of. But no matter what I seem to say or do this is how my son leaves the bathroom.....


Shirt tucked in his underwear.
Underwear mid-waist like a little old man
Shorts below his waist like a teenage rapper

I don't think Tim Gunn has any worries about my son taking over his job.

The Rough Life...

First Day of School

For some reason Greyson felt quite patriotic today and insisted on taking his American flag to school.
Greyson and his new teacher - Ms. Ashley in Discovery Kingdom.
Quinn and her teacher Ms. Amanda in Fuzzy Caterpillars

Click Your Heels Three Times....

They always say you can't go home again but every year we seem to pile the family into the SUV (it really should have wood panels on the side) and drive halfway across the country to go home to Kansas. We spent a busy week at the Kansas City Zoo, the Petting Farm, Science City and an evening with the Parsons clan.

I got my annual BBQ fix at Jack Stack BBQ - as you can tell Greyson liked it too.


And a trip to KC wouldn't be complete without a lunch at Fritz's. Fritz's is this diner where there are no waiters. You sit down and order by phone and then your lunch is brought out by a train. For my son who LOVES trains this just rocks his world.

However, the best part every year is the trip out to our friends Rodger and Suzy's farm for the pony ride. The kids adore Smokey the pony as well as playing out at the farm. I can't wait until they are old enough to ride by themselves so we can go riding together but until then I am just happy that they love riding as much as I do.


As always for the complete pictorial chronicles of our KS adventure see Raif's smug-mug page.

All In The Family

One of my favorite parts about going back to KS each year is visiting my extended family. I was dismayed however to find that my cousin's son, Adam, who is going into the 6th grade this year is as tall as me. My whole family came over to my parents house for dinner one night. The boys (Kevin, Adam and Duncan (my cousins once removed) were very sweet to Greyson and Quinn and taught them how to jump off the rocks behind my parents house and how to shoot hornets with a rubber band and an index card. Greyson and Quinn LOVED playing with the big kids, especially Kevin who they called "the boy in the brown shirt." It was wonderful to catch up with my family who I see so seldom.

Michele Erim, Child Psychologist

PC (Pre-children) I had tons of child raising theories. I was convinced that the reason that children talked about poop and pee so much was that their parents made such a big deal about it. THAT was not going to be MY children. I have made every effort to discuss all bodily functions as I would any other topic of conversation. I never chided them for discussing their potty habits just as I would never chide them for discussing, say what they had for breakfast. Poop and pee are non-entities in this house as far as I am concerned. Let me tell you how well that has worked.

My children LOVE to talk about poop and pee. They LOVE to sing songs about it and play games where it is the main component (thankfully only imaginary games). When they hop in puddles they tell me that are hopping in pee. They think it is hysterical to tell me that they have pooped in their diapers (even though they are both in underwear). Frankly, poop and pee are by far the funniest things in our house, at least to them.

Last night we were in our hotel room on the way home from KS. Quinn and I in one bed and Raif and Greyson in another. I rolled over to say goodnight and I love you to my precious daughter. "Quinncess, I love you."
"Mommy, I see poopy." (followed by hysterical fits of laughter that can only come from a two year old at one in the morning).

Every day I wait patiently for that parental self help book writing offer to come in. I am sure it will be here tomorrow.

Mascot Confusion

It was destined to happen - poor guy. We are attempting to brainwash him with not only 4 collegiate teams but with a myriad of professional teams covering a broad spectrum of sports.

Today Greyson wanted to play basketball and as I brought out the hoop he said in his very serious voice - "I AM THE DEACON JAYHAWK!!"

(hey, I can't complain too much - they are both my teams)

Farewell at the Zoo

This week is Greyson's last in Cosmic Kids so the class had a farewell field trip to the zoo. Helping chaperone 12 preschoolers at the zoo. I am wiped out.

Portraits

We took Greyson's 4 year portraits yesterday. Raif did an AMAZING job and got some really beautiful shots of the kids. Here are some of my favorites....




There were so many good ones.... if you want to see the rest you can check out Raif's Smugmug page

Goochy Guinny

Bon Appetit

For his birthday Greyson got a whole chef's kit from Raif's godmother Susie. It included an apron, cookbook, measuring cups and spoons and a lion spatula (oh my what a hit that was). We broke out the cookbook for the first time this morning and the kids made us pancakes for breakfast. Greyson measured out the dry ingredients.


Quinn cracked and beat the egg and whisked in the milk.


They both took turns mixing them all together and each got to flip their pancakes.


Delicious! Thanks for breakfast guys and thanks to Aunt Susie for a great gift!