We have an unwritten rule in our house. Raif and I have refused to respond to questions not asked with manners. For example - "I want a cookie" is met with a blank stare and no response until "May I have a cookie, please." comes out of a mouth. This has worked fairly well and the kids have done a lot better recently on their manners.
This evening, at dinner, I told Greyson "Finish your milk." I was met with a blank stare. "Greyson, I asked you to finish your milk." He didn't flinch. Finally, getting annoyed I said sternly "I am not going to ask you again - finish your milk."
"Mommy, I am not going to do it until you say please."
Lesson learned.
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